The Saga of Signas and Tambertail
by Aria6
Summary: The story of Signas and his secretary, Tambertail, and a plot against Signas... Not to mention X, Zero and Axl's usual antics. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

"…And our operations in the Amazon were a complete success." Signas concluded his monthly report to the Council. He stood at ease, his hands folded behind his back. Much of the Council had listened attentively to his report. The rest hadn't, either because they knew the limits of their understanding or just because they were idiots. In politics, the cream did not always rise to the top.

Signas didn't dwell deeply on that thought. As the Commander of the Maverick Hunters, he was largely a political appointee. Directly selected by the Council from a panel of candidates, he answered to no one but them. But he did answer to them, which could be… difficult.

When he had been selected for the post, Signas had been largely unaware of political realities. Not completely unaware… no officer of his rank could be that… but he had been unwilling to become involved in politics. As much as possible, he had concentrated on actually leading the men and women who depended on him.

His former rank had been Captain. Signas sometimes wondered, a little, why the Council had picked him to head the Maverick Hunters. He had been quite startled at the time to receive what amounted to a massive promotion. But he thought he had an idea… he had never been noted for brilliance or innovation, in his former role, but his track record of quiet successes had spoken eloquently of his competence. Not brilliant, no, but very reliable. And after the whole mess with Repliforce, reliability had been a quality the Council had been looking for.

"A concise and informative report, Commander." Vivian Erickson, the Council chairwoman, said with a smile that was wide, supple, and professional. She was a statuesque blond, with the faint tightness to her face that hinted at numerous wrinkle treatments. Signas privately disliked her, and suspected that if he knew her better, he would despise her. There was always something extremely fake about the way she talked to him. "There are a few situations we would appreciate your attention on, however."

"I will be glad to consider any requests from the Council." Signas said politely. And he certainly would consider them. The requests the Council made were always political in nature. If it wasn't too inconvenient or made tactical sense, he would look after them. Life was a lot easier at budget time if he kept their civilian superiors slightly happy.

"It's about the situation in Egypt." Vivian said smoothly. "Things are getting more than a bit out of hand. The Council is hoping you could spare perhaps a unit to help take care of the Mavericks in the area." Signas was silent for a moment. He had been warned about this, and had prepared for it, but hadn't quite believed it would happen.

"Forgive me, Madam chairwoman, but I was not under the impression that there were any Mavericks in that area." There was a faint stir, as some of the delegates looked surprised.

"Come now, Commander! Surely you're heard about the death and destruction that's been going on!" A portly man spoke up. Signas nodded.

"Of course. However, my information tells me that humans are participating actively in the terrorist activities. Perhaps the Council should address some of the social issues that led to violence, rather than simply attempt to crush the problem?" Signas met Vivian's gaze. Her smile was looking a little fixed.

"Indeed, we should." One Council member agreed with a toothy smile. "I believe part of the reason for the violence is allegations of rigged voting in the last election." All the Councilors were too civilized and well-trained to glare, but it was obvious that comment had been some kind of slap at some of them.

"What proof do you have of human involvement, Commander?" One older woman asked, sounding almost disinterested, but her eyes were keen with intelligence. Signas inclined his head respectfully towards her.

"Many intelligence files, Mrs. Geraldine. If you wish, I can forward copies of those files to your own staff." Signas was looking at the other Councilor, and missed the way Vivian's lips tightened.

"Yes, well," The chairwoman broke in with another professional smile. "We do thank you for your report, Signas. I don't believe we will need anything more." Signas saluted them, then turned to walk out…

* * *

Tambertail was not a happy Reploid. And the reason for her annoyance was, to most people, rather peculiar. She glared balefully at an inoffensive crystal vase, filled with glorious roses. The petals were butter yellow, trimmed with pink, and made a beautiful display of color that complemented the cut crystal of the vase. Beside the vase sat a box of chocolates, half open and partially masticated.

Tambertail found the presence of the items baffling. She had never thought of herself as being attractive. She had been built in an attempt to create the Reploid equivalent of an intelligent tracking dog. The experiment had been a success, and Reploids descended from her prototype design could be found in almost every police department in the country, sniffing down criminals or checking for contraband. Most conformed to her general appearance… humanoid, but with upright dog-ears, similar to those of a wolf or Husky, and a tail that could convey dozens of emotions. They tended to be thin, rangy and slightly predatory in appearance.

Tambertail was the archetype of her kind. Dark brown hair, cut short into a curly mop, framed a lean, intense face. Her eyes were dark grey, matching the color of her furry ears, as they twitched to catch any sound. She was tall but wiry, and as flat at the thirteen-year-old girl she resembled. Athletic was the most flattering word that could be used to describe her build. No one had ever accused her of being beautiful, which made the fact that someone would pursue her even more puzzling.

She had to admit that the gift of roses was inspired, though. Tambertail lived in a land of scents, and the stronger the better. Sometimes she pitied humans, and most Reploids as well, with their dead noses. To her, the roses exuded a heavy perfume that endlessly pleased her. Of course, a rotting pile of trash would also have pleased her. Before she had learned social decorum, she had dismayed her creators by acting more like a dog than a person.

Taking a deep breath of the fragrance, Tambertail smiled, revealing teeth that were decidedly canine in appearance. The predatory cast of her face was partly due to a realignment and intensification of certain parts of her jaw. Most Reploids could not bite through armor, but she could and had, in the past. Her teeth made such bites painful in the extreme.

Turning away from the vase, she went back to work, typing at her computer. When they had made her, her creators had made a slight error with her personality. Thinking that someone very well organized would be best for police work, they had tried to give her the kind of personality that sorts paperclips according to size. They had mostly succeeded… Tambertail was an extremely orderly person, and particularly liked to create order out of chaos.

Unfortunately, that mindset had not meshed well with the realities of police work. Hunting down criminals was messy, full of unexpected surprises that she could not effectively organize. After the first dozen complaints about her attitude, the engineers and scientists realized what they had done wrong with her. Later models had widely varied personalities… and none as anal as her own. Tambertail had been taken off active duty, and had found her niche in the secretarial field. In her time, she had served a Chief of Police, a very prominent politician, and finally Signas. She had been with him since before his appointment to the Hunters, and he'd managed to take her along to his new post, where she continued to create order out of chaos.

Tambertail glanced up as Signas entered the room, and her ears pricked up. He was looking tired.

"You were right." He said.

"Naturally. I'm always right," Tambertail said, making Signas smile faintly. "But what exactly was I right about this time, Skipper?" That made him smile even more. Only Tambertail called him by that rather silly honorific, and she justified it by saying that he was the 'captain' of the ship otherwise known as Hunter HQ.

"They tried to get us to intervene in that Nile delta business." Signas said, and Tambertail snorted, laying her ears back.

"Typical. I hope you told them to take a long walk off a short pier. The last thing X needs is to get involved in that!" X was currently suffering through a mild depression. The last thing he needed was a messy, morally ambiguous situation.

"How did you know, Tambertail?" Signas asked, curious and concerned. She snorted again.

"You want to know how the wizard does his work, Skipper?" He fixed her with a hard stare, and Tambertail realized she would have to give him more than that. "It was just logical. The whole situation in Egypt is going to hell in a handbasket, but the Council doesn't dare touch it. That leaves us."

"Why wouldn't they dare?" He had his own theories, but they were new. Tambertail was obviously more on the ball with this, so he wanted to hear hers. She shrugged.

"Well, there are a lot of reasons. First off, it's an internal matter and they don't technically have any right to stick their fingers in the pie. Second, the whole thing is happening because of the election. They don't want to fiddle with it and maybe draw attention to their own election procedures."

"Their own procedures? All the Council representatives were duly elected." Signas protested. Tambertail grimaced, disgusted but not surprised at his naïveté.

"Sure they were, Skipper. And I got to be your secretary because of my good looks and charm." Signas snorted at that thought, and she grinned. "In case you hadn't noticed, Signas, one hoary chunk of the population can't vote at all." Reploids had many rights, but so far, the right to vote had eluded them. "Another hoary chunk can't vote either."

"You mean the people in the refugee camps?" Signas said with a frown. "They still have the right to vote."

"In all their copious free time, at the polling station just down the corner? Riiiiight. Then you've got all the people who can't be bothered to sign up to vote, and then the people who are registered but think the whole things a sad farce, so they don't bother to vote. We're down to twenty percent of the population, Skipper. Don't tell me that's democratic." Tambertail looked at her roses, and shook her head. "And maybe the worst part is that the people who think it's a farce are right. We've only got one viable party, Skipper. The New Moderate Democrats are fractured into a dozen splinter groups, the Socialist Society is a joke, and the Republican Alliance hasn't been able to find a good leader since Rockenzik died in that Maverick attack on his shuttle. Right before the election," she added sourly. "Which was pretty damn convenient."

"You're not seriously suggesting that it was arranged." Signas said, his tone slightly frosty. But she met his look with an even stare.

"You bet I am. He might've won, Skipper, and he was in favor of giving Reploids the vote. And I worked for the police for a while, remember. There wasn't much left of the shuttle, and the only reason they knew it was Mavericks was 'cause they found pieces of one that looked to've been blown up by the shuttle's weapons. But Skipper, it's darn hard to put Humpty Dumpty together again, and how hard is it to kill some poor Maverick shmuck and use the body as window dressing? I sure as hell wouldn't put it past some of these people." Signas hesitated, then shook his head.

"You must be the most paranoid person I've met, Tambertail. Is there anything that needs my immediate attention?" Tambertail accepted the change of subject. She could tell he didn't buy anything she had said, so it was probably just as well.

"Not really. Just a vacation request from Zero. He's about due some time off."

"Mmm… I suppose we can spare him. Process it for next week, would you?"

"No problem, Skipper." Tambertail watched him enter his office, then glanced at the roses again. Signas hadn't asked about them, or the chocolates, but then, he wouldn't. She idly picked up the card that had come with them, reading it again. It was simple and to the point.

_To a very lovely lady, for brightening everyone's day._

_-Zero_

Tambertail tapped the card, thinking. She was shocked Zero had decided to court her, but then, she was about as different from his old heartthrob as it was possible to be and still be female. And courting might be the wrong term to use. She wasn't sure how long his interest would last after he got in her pants.

Zero wasn't really her type, though. Despite her position as a secretary, Tambertail had always thought of herself as an alpha bitch. If she had a choice, she preferred her partners young and muncheable. Her current fantasies were focused on Axl, who was cute as a button and perfect for nibbling. Unfortunately, she figured _he_ wouldn't be interested in _her._ Not quite her type or not, Zero was interested and available. He was just as much an alpha male as she was an alpha bitch, but that might be interesting. At least he wouldn't be intimidated by the fact that she could probably tear out his throat with her teeth, if she really put her mind to it. And she had some vacation time coming up, herself. If he was willing, that had possibilities…

Another thought occurred to her, and Tambertail's eyes narrowed. Was Zero sucking up to her because she was Signas secretary, not courting her at all? A lot of the Hunters believed she had control over their vacation time, which was somewhat true of the lesser ranks. But she would have thought Zero had more sense… she needed Signas direct approval to put any of the unit commanders on vacation. Maybe he was just covering all his bases.

Tambertail grinned wickedly to herself, and began making arrangements for her temporary replacement. Whatever Zero's motivations were, she could quite neatly trap him into a trip, which promised to be very interesting…

* * *

At the same time, far away, a quiet meeting was taking place.

The room they were in was beautifully furnished. Done in the Victorian style, the furniture and decorations were the very essence of understated elegance. A plush Persian rug was pleasing to the eye and gentle on bare feet. On a sideboard, dozens of stoppered crystal decanters gleamed. The host of the meeting, Vivian Erickson, walked over to pour herself a glass of wine.

"He's becoming more and more tedious." Amanda Nguyen commented. Vivian turned to look at her, sipping her wine.

There were only five of them at this select meeting, including herself. Each a member of good standing on the Council, together they held a majority of the voting power. That gave them the whip of political clout, and they used it mercilessly.

"That is part of his job, Amanda." Marcus Lewis politely disagreed with her. Vivian hid a sigh with another small sip of her wine. If Amanda said white, Marcus would say black. It made them difficult to deal with, but they were both essential to her control of the Council. The other two members of their small group were a short, intense man named Gregor Pavlovich, and an older man by the name of Christian Smith.

"I'd have to agree with Amanda, Marcus. Signas is becoming increasingly difficult. Wasn't he supposed to be nothing but a puppet?" Christian complained.

"Now, Christian, you know he wasn't our first pick." Vivian allowed herself a small, put upon sigh. "If Lagimire hadn't gotten himself killed… well, we just had to make do. Signas had a record of following orders to the letter."

"Also of taking his duty seriously." Gregor pointed out, and no one disagreed. "I think we underestimated how much that would affect things."

"True. But is it irritating enough for us to remove him?" That was really the only thing they could do. There was a short pause, and then Amanda spoke.

"I think it is, but more because of the grasp he's showing of the political situation than anything else. All that information he had about the Nile… that must have been assembled well ahead of time." That was troubling to all of them.

"Indeed. Gregor, what are our options for removing him?" Vivian asked. Gregor frowned slightly.

"There are really only two options. The least risky would be to arrange some kind of situation that discredits him, and gives us a reasonable pretext to remove him legally. However, Signas seems to be trusted by the Hunters, so it might cause difficulties."

"Mmm. And the second?" Amanda murmured, a rather nasty light in her eyes. Gregor smiled coldly.

"Direct action. I know several professionals who might be willing to take the contract. The best is, of course, Lady Death… but she might refuse this particular contract." The others nodded. They had all heard of Lady Death, and knew about the contracts she had refused on X and Zero. Depending on why she refused such contracts, she might not agree to Signas either. "After her, though, there are some good prospects."

"Let's not starts with that." Vivian decided. "Hm… when is Zero's next vacation?" There were small frowns around the room. Zero's vacations were notorious.

"My sources say it will likely be next week… why?" Gregor frowned. "You're not seriously thinking of making that an issue we could get rid of Signas over."

"You don't think it could work?" Vivian smiled, almost whimsically. "Zero can cause SO much chaos. Surely Signas should be able to reign him in better."

"That… would be difficult… I think Signas has a much better track record at getting him under control than the last commander." Amanda said cautiously. "It would have to be something truly spectacular."

"Perhaps we could start something?" Christian murmured. "A brawl where actual life is lost, that sort of thing?" Vivian shrugged.

"Perhaps. But the good thing about it is, we can always decide not to make an issue of things if it doesn't work out according to plan. And I'm sure we can get one of the lesser Council members to broach the issue, concealing our involvement. This little gambit might not work, but it risks nothing."

"Excellent point." Gregor said approvingly. "I'll see what I can arrange." He was in charge of their more delicate operations, so this would be a task for him.

After a bit more conversation, the meeting broke up, and Vivian plucked a book from a shelf, ensconcing herself in a very comfortable chair, and began to read…

* * *

"Cry me a river, Z." X frowned, struggling with his GameBoy. "Arrrgh, die!" He hissed at the little figures on the screen. "Why did you get me this thing, Axl? It's stupid but I can't put it down." Axl grinned, and Zero ran a hand through his hair. He and Axl were sitting at a table in the break room, playing cards.

"Dammit, X! I wasn't expecting this to happen!" Zero complained again, and X rolled his eyes.

"Zero, you send flowers to all the girls your courting. She took you seriously. What else were you expecting?"

"What's wrong with Tambertail?" Axl asked, a little confused with how upset Zero was. "She's nice… she gives me cookies." Zero snorted.

"I'm sure she'd rather feed you something else." Fortunately, that innuendo went over Axl's head. Zero drummed his fingers against the table, then sighed. "I guess I don't really have a choice."

"Not unless you want her to make your life miserable." X agreed, staring intently at the GameBoy. "Axl, do you know how to get past the pumpkin monster?"

"Oh sure!" Axl said enthusiastically. "I'm surprised you couldn't guess. You don't fight him." X looked up with a blink.

"Say what?"

"You just don't fight him. Walk on by and he won't attack you."

"Well that's… unexpected." X said, bemused. Zero snickered, then looked at his cards.

"Got a three?"

"Go fish." Zero grumbled, and took a card as Axl looked intently at his hand. "Got a three?"

"Go fish."

"Can only ONE of you cheat? I can't stand listening to you!" X complained, then growled at his GameBoy. "What sick pervert made this marshmallow monster?"

"Pervert?" Axl blinked at X. "What are you talking about?"

"It's the penis monster," X answered succinctly, too distracted by the game to sugar coat his response. Zero choked on laughter. "And I'm a pretty girl in a schoolgirl costume right now! Sick! Oh god, its firing marshmallows at me, and they SPLASH! I'm coated in gooey white stuff!"

"Axl? Where did you get that thing?" Zero asked a seriously confused kid. "I want one now." It sounded like his kind of game.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: The game is the creation of my own perverse imagination. For your edification, I'll describe it. It's a Halloween themed game where X is playing one of the kids from a school, trying to save all the other students from rampaging Halloween monsters that were unleashed during the yearly costumeparty. With each level, the girl's costume changes... sometimes she's a zombie, sometimes she's a vampire, a schoolgirl, an angel, a princess... XDD She defeats the enemies with weapons she finds in the levels, and the weapons are usually related to the monsters. (a flamethrower for the Marshmellow monster... smors, anyone?) She gathers up chocolate bars and other candies to gain health. XDD Don't you wish I was a real game designer? And yes, there are plenty of sexual references in the game for people who have dirty minds. Hehehehehe... now, on with the story!

* * *

Tambertail grinned, swallowing a chunk of beef. From the look on Zero's face, he would cheerfully have denied knowing her if he thought he could get away with it.

They were vacationing at a resort in Texas. Well, it styled itself a 'ranch', and it DID have horses, but Tambertail didn't think anyplace with a golf course could really be called a ranch with a straight face. She strongly suspected Zero had suggested a vacation in Texas both because he'd never been there before, and because the odds of meeting any other Hunters here were miniscule. The favored vacation spots for the Hunters were Hawaii and Vegas, with ski vacations in a dozen places being another recurring theme. Horseback riding was an interesting departure from the trend.

Right now, though, what was bothering Zero was the fact that she'd ordered the biggest steak on the menu… an enormous monstrosity, and if she ate it all, it was free. However, if she didn't, it was going to ding Zero's pocketbook severely. Tambertail was having fun satisfying her primal urges to tear meat apart with her teeth, ignoring the steak knife, which was probably another reason for Zero's put upon expression.

As far as she was concerned, though, that was just too bad. She knew Zero had done almost the exact same thing to deliberately embarrass X once. Turnabout was fair play. Tambertail chewed and swallowed, glancing around the restaurant. The theme was Wild West, and a perhaps a trifle overdone… the weathered cow skulls were nice, but she didn't much like the hay bales. Still, the food was good and authentic.

"So, Zero," she said brightly, making him wince. "What are we doing tomorrow? Golfing?" Her grin was vulpine. She couldn't picture him golfing, but it was bound to happen sometime this week.

"No, that's for Thursday. Tomorrow we're going to go horseback riding." Zero was actually somewhat looking forward to that. The horses all had cybernetic implants to raise their strength and endurance, so handling him and Tambertail would be well within their abilities. Well, as long as they didn't call in their armor. Zero briefly entertained himself with the thought of charging Mavericks on a horse… nah, the horse would be toast. Well, unless IT had armor. Hmmm. Maybe he should mention that to Cain. A robotic horse?

"Excellent. I love the smell of fresh horse." Tambertail grinned as Zero gave her a peculiar look, obviously wondering if she meant freshly killed. Tambertail downed her drink, a screwdriver. It was early in the evening, but her tolerance for alcohol was notorious.

"Hey, baby," came a soft voice from behind her. Zero's expression immediately changed to one of annoyance. Even if hadn't chosen to travel with Tambertail, really, he WAS with her and they were eating supper together. Who was daring to poach on his turf? He gave the interloper a deadly glare. "Want another of those?"

"No thanks." Tambertail said coolly, surreptitiously sniffing the air. She couldn't smell alcohol from the strange Reploid, which was odd… if he wasn't drunk, what in hell did he think he was doing?

Tambertail was dressed to be her most attractive, but that really wasn't saying too much. Skirts and dresses looked ridiculous on her, so she had decided on creamy slacks and a bright red blouse. Over that blouse, she was wearing a leather vest with beading and fringes that she had just bought at the nearest tourist trap. The way it was laced accented the few female attributes she had, and it suited her athletic build. Still, she wasn't the sort of woman men typically fought over.

So when he tried to put his hand down her shirt, it came as a shock. Zero catapulted to his feet with a snarl… but Tambertail reacted even faster, with instinctive viciousness.

**_CHOMP_**

"Aaaaiiiiieeee!" Tambertail's teeth could penetrate armor… which no one was wearing in a resort/ranch. What they did to that unarmored hand was unspeakable, and even then she was being charitable. If he had been a serious threat, she would have clamped down harder and yanked her head. Given the pressures involved, there was a very good chance she would have removed half his hand. As it was, she just took a sizeable chunk. Blood splattered as she let go, and the Reploid fell back. Zero hesitated, nonplussed by the sudden disappearance of his opponent. Tambertail smiled at him, and picked up a napkin to wipe her mouth. Zero stared at her, and his expression suddenly changed to one that was fierce and… Tambertail blinked. Had the bloodshed, and her casualness about it, turned him on?

The answer was a definite yes. He stepped over to her, and knelt down, ignoring the puddles of blood. Blue eyes burning, he kissed her deeply, and Tambertail realized that he wanted to taste the blood in her mouth. That knowledge was as arousing for her as the bloodshed was for Zero, and she gripped the back of his head tightly, returning the kiss fiercely-

"What in hell is going on here?" Tambertail growled in disappointment as Zero drew away, turning to look at the owner of the drawling voice. They both recognized the man. He was a Reploid, wearing grey armor, cowboy hat and a vest similar to Tambertail's, and he worked in the stables as an assistant. Something about the way he moved and spoke told Zero that he could be quite dangerous, if he chose to be. Right now, he was regarding them levelly with cool grey eyes, and occasionally glancing at the crippled Reploid who was trying to hold his hand together.

"He tried to shove his hand down my shirt." Tambertail stood up, holding her head high. "So I bit him."

"Hm." The Reploid glanced around at the other patrons, whom were all watching in rapt fascination. "Any of you lot see this?" One girl tentatively put up her hand. She was a slender human girl, perhaps sixteen years old, with pale blond hair, glasses, and the very pale skin of someone who usually didn't see much sunlight.

"I looked up right when it happened. He asked to buy her a drink, she said no, and then he tried to fondle her." The girl said softly. He nodded, accepting that, then gave the crumpled Reploid who had started it a flinty look.

"And what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't… I… she bloody well BIT me! I want to press charges." Tambertail growled, and Zero stiffened, giving the man a look that could have scorched titanium. The ranch Reploid just smiled coldly.

"Well, you could do that. On the other hand, this is a respectable place, not the local bar, and the sheriff isn't likely to be too sympathetic with a man as shoves his hand down a ladies' shirt. And I do believe she could charge you for indecent assault." He shrugged slowly, then smiled again. "So maybe you should just leave and think it over a bit, before you do anything rash, eh?" Muttering something, the perpetrator pulled himself to his feet and stumbled out. The ranch Reploid eyed the puddles of blood with distaste. "Mirella, get a mop. And move these nice people to a new table." Soon, Zero and Tambertail had been moved to a cleaner area and the restaurant had proved a free drink to everyone in the room. Calmed and cheered, conversation slowly picked up again among the dinner crowd. Zero and Tambertail eyed each other for a moment.

"Are you really hungry?" Zero said abruptly. "For food?" Tambertail grinned slowly.

"Yes, but we can box it up for later." She was still hungry… her generator ran hot and burnt a great deal of fuel… but she was even hungrier for something else, and from the look in Zero's eyes, so was he. She gestured to the waitress, who hurried over to take care of any problems. "Could you box this up and bring the check, please?"

"Of course… I hope you don't mind the trouble?" That was an awkward way to put it, but the waitress was obviously worried they would hold the incident against the resort. Zero shrugged.

"It's fine, we just want to eat in our room," he said, and the waitress smiled, a little relieved. Soon, they left the restaurant, hand in hand. Tambertail almost felt like blessing the fool who had started all the trouble.

Maybe she and Zero were more compatible than either of them had thought.

* * *

The next day dawned bright and cool, with just a touch of frost on the ground. Tambertail adjusted her vest, working a few tangles out of the fringe.

Since they were going to be riding most of the day, she and Zero had both dressed with dirt in mind. Tambertail was wearing tight blue jeans that showed off her long, athletic legs and a plain white t-shirt beneath her vest. Zero was wearing similar jeans, but his shirt was a red polo, comfortably faded and stained. It left most of his neck bare, clearly revealing the bite marks she had left on his skin. Tambertail shivered slightly, reminded of last night. There was a matching set of hickies under her own shirt, if anyone cared to look hard enough. Zero put an arm around her, as they walked to the stables to join the other riders, and she leaned comfortably against him.

The ranch Reploid they had met in the restaurant was there, and they learned his name was Lucian. His eyes were dancing with laughter when he brought up a delicate topic.

"The front desk wants to know, would you two like to move to one of the private bungalows?" He asked. Tambertail blinked, and Zero frowned. The resort basically had three kinds of rooms… the ones done in Mexican décor, the ones in Texan décor, and the bungalows. The last were far more expensive to rent, and separated from the rest of the building so the occupants could enjoy complete privacy.

"Why? Our rooms are fine." Zero didn't see why they would want to move. Lucian grinned, amused.

"Oh, I'm sure they are… for you. But we got three complaints last night from the people near you, about the howling." Tambertail choked, flushing a brick red. Zero hadn't been quiet either, but she knew she was the prime offender. Zero grinned, amused with her reaction. "If you're in a bungalow, though, you'll be far enough off they'll probably think its wolves. Might add some color to the place. The change is on the house, by the way." That decided Zero. His bank account was a little lean, but if it was free…

"Sure, why not?" he agreed. Zero was willing to bet the resort was paying for this only because having a famous Maverick Hunter staying there was good for business, but he didn't really care. In fact, he was used to getting that kind of treatment. If nothing else, where he went, members of his unit were bound to follow. Lucian turned away slightly, speaking into a communicator that was tied to a local network. He nodded, then looked back at them.

"The maids are going to move your stuff, and the new key will be at the front desk. Bungalow 3, if that's alright?" They both nodded.

After ascertaining their level of skill… zero… Lucian found horses for them and gave them both a quick lesson on riding. Zero was a bit put out with his horse, at first… he wanted something with more fire, or at least a tendency to stay awake… but Lucian had a good argument.

"Think about Pokey here as a level one combat sim. You wouldn't put a novice in a level eight, would you? Or even a level three?" Lucian patted the horse on the shoulder, as it lowered its head and dozed. "Pokey's good for learning the basics, and we'll be going up some mountain passes. You don't need to get thrown down a ravine, believe me."

"Well, alright." Zero gave in with little grace. He had to admit that made sense, but he didn't have to like it. He eyed the shaggy white and brown horse, then sighed and mounted. Tambertail was already on her horse, a pony named Star for the white star on its forehead. There were a few other people going out with them as well, also amateur riders. To Zero's mild surprise, he recognized one of them… the girl who had spoken up for them in the restaurant. Her name turned out to be Pamela. The other was a cheerful old man who introduced himself as Al.

"Daft bugger!" Zero looked over with a blink as Lucian expertly took control of his own mount. It was an impressive black steed, elegant yet powerful, and quite a bit taller than any of the other horses. Also… difficult. Lucian glanced over at them with a grin, when he had the beast under control. "We call this one Demon. If you're doing well by the end of the week, maybe you'll get to ride him… but he's got quite the temper." The horse snorted, as if agreeing with him. "Let's go."

* * *

A week later, back at Maverick Hunter HQ.

"So, Zero, how was your vacation?" X frowned at the GameBoy, then quickly hit pause and looked up when Zero didn't answer right away. He tilted his head at the smug expression on his friend's face. "That well?"

"You know how I said she wasn't my type? I was wrong. She's a tiger in the bedsheets, and sometimes she can be so damn _hot._ X, is it weird that blood turns me on?" Axl looked over at that, surprised.

"Um… most people would say so, yes. But how does that have anything to do with Tambertail?" X asked cautiously. Zero's expression turned dreamy.

"A guy tried to grope her and she almost bit his hand off. It was just so sexy, especially when she wiped it off with a napkin…" X gagged, and Axl looked slightly sick.

"Okay, WAY too much information. How was the horseback riding?" X changed the subject firmly. Zero grinned.

"Pretty darn cool, actually. You guys should come with me next time… it was a whole lot of fun, going down a different trail each day and seeing those neat mountain passes, then going for a swim when we got back. On the last day, I got to ride Demon." Zero rubbed the back of his neck. "And the bastard tried to buck me off. That was something else."

"I'd like to go," Axl chimed in. "It sounds like fun. I've never tried to ride a horse before!"

"Hmm." X went back to his game, pressing the play button and getting down to business. Zero lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Haven't you finished with that thing yet?" He'd figured X would be done with his obsession by the time he got back. X shook his head, eyes glued to the tiny screen.

"There's one hundred and eighty-six levels," Axl said with a grin. "And then there's a sequel."

"Jeez, Axl, are you trying to get rid of him entirely?" Zero watched X play, and shook his head. "Nothing good will come of this."

* * *

"A complete failure?" Vivian frowned as she read through the report from Gregor's operatives. "My word. What kind of animals does he date?"

"Apparently, that animal is Signas' secretary." Gregor smiled at the expression of surprise on the chairwoman's face. She shook her head, bemused, and set the paper down.

"They really need to cut back on the raw meat, if that's how their secretaries behave." Vivian drummed her fingers against the table. "That leaves direct action. Have you tried to contact Lady Death?"

"I opened negotiations," Gregor's tone was regretful, though. "Unfortunately, she's refused the contract. Apparently, her aversion to taking contracts on high ranking Hunters extends to Signas."

"Hmm. It's probably not just pragmatism, then. Signas would be much easier than X or Zero." Vivian shrugged, dismissing the motivations of the assassin. Her reasons for refusing the contract didn't really matter. "Do we have any other prospects?"

"Hmm… yes, there are a few…"


	3. Chapter 3

Note: Lady Death is a character featured in my one-shot fics in the Lives of Average Reploids. She's a very expensive assassin. No one knows anything about her, not even if she's human or Reploid… only that she's refused contracts from Sigma on X and Zero. Why? That's a personal matter, and if you really want to know why, check out the one-shots.

* * *

"Hello Skipper," Tambertail said brightly, stepping back into her familiar office. Signas looked up from where he was sorting through her filing cabinet, trying to find some important piece of information. "Surviving without me, I see."

"Not very well," Signas said with a wry smile. "You wouldn't know where that file on Allisha is, would you?" Tambertail took over, and had the file in his hands in seconds. "Thank you. It's good to have you back… that girl from the temp agency was no good at all."

"Oh, it's not easy being a temp, Skipper." Tambertail was in a very good mood, and willing to be charitable. "Having to go to a new place every week, learn new rules, new filing systems… been there, done that, got the mental scars." Tambertail poured herself a cup of coffee, tried it, and choked. "Bleh! Did you make this, Skipper?"

"No, the girl did, before she left."

"Oh. I take back everything I said then. Clearly incompetent." Tambertail immediately began brewing a new pot. Signas watched her for a moment with a smile.

Everything about her indicated to him that she'd had a very good time, indeed. She was wearing a brand new red crushed velvet dress shirt, embroidered with Wild West patterns. She was also wearing a beautiful necklace of Mexican silver and turquoise, along with a matching bracelet. Signas frowned as she knelt down to get a new filter. Was that a bite mark under her left ear?

Signas decided he really didn't want to know, and retreated into his office. There were things he didn't care to know about Tambertail, and that went double for Zero. But as he got started on some paperwork, Signas smiled.

Life was always easier when Tambertail was around to organize things.

* * *

A week later…

"Hey, X? You in?" Zero frowned as he heard a garbled sound. "X?" He was at the door to X's quarters. This was X's day off, and no one had seen him at all, although he'd heard that there had been some yelling in X's quarters. It seemed worth investigating.

"Come in!" Zero blinked again as he recognized Alia's voice, then shrugged and opened the door.

"Alia," Zero said after a moment spent studying the scene inside. "What are you doing? That looks… really uncomfortable. For X, anyway." The Navigator was sitting on X's back, pinning him neatly to the sofa. Her elbow was firmly resting on the back of his neck, supporting her weight and forcing him even further into the cushions. Alia's hair was tousled, as if she had struggled a bit to get him there.

"Zero… help…" X's voice was muffled but really pathetic. Alia dug her elbow a bit more deeply into the back of his neck, then looked up at Zero with an expression of false serenity.

"X is learning that he can go without his game if he really, _really_ tries." Alia said, her tone sweetly poisonous. Zero lifted his eyebrows, then grinned.

"You're making him go cold turkey? How cruel. What did he do to you?"

"Zero, if your girlfriend told you she's wearing crotchless panties and needs to be at work in an hour, what would you do?" Alia asked, and Zero hesitated, thrown by that question for a moment.

"Jump her, of course… X, you _didn't_ keep playing that stupid game!" Zero stared at his friend in disbelief.

"Just… five minutes… for the level…" Alia's elbow dug in just a touch more. "Ow." Zero blinked, then laughed.

"Sorry X, you're getting a righteous squashing. Come meet Axl and me in the break room when she lets you up, okay?" Zero left the room, chuckling and ignoring a few more muffled pleas from behind him.

X was getting exactly what he deserved.

* * *

Tambertail walked slowly through the halls of the HQ, savoring the medley of smells that made up Hunter HQ.

The strongest smell, of course, was the various cleaners and other agents the domestic staff used to keep it clean. Tambertail ignored those smells with practiced ease. She didn't much like chemical scents, and any police tracker was trained to ignore them and concentrate on the important smells. Like blood, or rot.

She couldn't smell much human blood in Hunter HQ, although there were hints here and there. Reploid blood was another matter. Generations of rookies and Hunters had shed fluids in one way or another over the grounds, and the smell had been ground in too deeply to ever be removed except by tearing the building down. Another strong scent was the ozone-like smell of unwashed Reploid. Hard exercise made it more pronounced, and as a pair of rookies walked past her, Tambertail caught a strong dose of it from them. Along with perfume, from the female of the pair. Tambertail sniffed carefully, and identified it as Obsession by Chanel. Not a bad perfume at all, although not what she would have picked. Tambertail preferred her scents musky.

Tambertail suddenly picked up a very different, very appealing smell. She paused, closing her eyes to sample it more fully. If she had to guess, the kitchen was making chicken casserole. Or perhaps chicken fajitas. Whatever it was, it involved chicken and cheese and smelled perfectly delicious, even from halfway across the base.

But that was for later. Tambertail regretfully turned away from the tantalizing scent of good food, and picked up a different trail… a scent that mingled Reploid blood with motor oil, dirt and, oddly enough, bubblegum. It was a scent she associated with the Pit.

The Pit was the nickname given to the 16th Heavy Metal division. The 16th Heavy Artillery unit used all the heavy weapons, cannons, tanks and heavy aircraft the HQ had at its disposal. Because of that, their equipment was constantly in need of maintenance, and the 16th Heavy Metal division was their Siamese twin. Slightly split, but effectively the same unit, the technicians working in the Pit had a reputation for utter excellence… and a disregard for rules and regulations that occasionally made Lifesaver froth at the mouth. While their primary duty was to service the heavy equipment of the 16th, when things went to hell in a handbasket, they often handled Reploid casualties. But they didn't alter their techniques in the slightest for them, and more than one Reploid had discovered months later that some of their wiring had been patched with bubblegum. Which, Tambertail had been informed, worked really darn well since it hardened when current hit it and formed a perfect seal. It was also a lot faster and more efficient than the delicate work of welding. The Reploids she had heard of had only found out when they took combat damage a second time, and got patched up by Lifesaver. Lifesaver hated it, along with all the other dirty tricks the 16th engaged in pursuing their quest to get their charges up and functional in the shortest possible amount of time. Tambertail grinned to herself. She didn't like Lifesaver much, and suspected the part that really drove him to a frothing fury wasn't how lackadaisical they were… it was that they were so damn good despite it. If anything, the Pit's record for efficiency was better than Lifesaver's repair bay.

Tambertail wasn't just going to the Pit for fun, though. One of the things she occasionally did for Signas was check over her hovercycle. It wasn't stored with the other hovercycles, but had its own place in the Pit, with a few other custom jobs for the other enthusiasts in HQ. Comparing all these puppies to the regular hovercycles used for patrols was like comparing a custom built Corvette to a regular Porsche. Both excellent machines… but one was special where the other wasn't. Signas had owned his hovercycle for a long, long time, since the ancient days when he'd been only a Captain, not the commander of Hunter HQ. Tambertail only checked it for him when he was planning to go somewhere, but was so bogged down by paperwork that he didn't have time to give it a going over himself.

When she got there, she tilted her head back to regard the largest project in the room. A massive, Goliath style riding armor was getting a complete refit and retooling. There was scaffolding around the partly disassembled armor, and three workers were on it, hard at work. The Pit was a very, very large room with equally large doors to accommodate the weapons they worked with. Classic rock blared over the speakers, filling the room with sound.

Tambertail grinned and waved at a few of the techs, enjoying the heady scents of oil, hot metal and Reploid vital fluids. There was also a heavy smell of dirt and soap… one part of the room was partitioned off and featured industrial strength hoses and a drain. It was meant to clean off damaged ride armor and tanks, so they could be repaired without the dirt getting in the way. There was some laughter from that area, and Tambertail grinned again as she saw a pair of Reploids spraying each other. Members of the 15th, from their gear. No one particularly cared, as long as they didn't get in the way.

Tambertail smiled appreciatively when she reached Signas' hovercycle. It gleamed like a newly cut jewel, polished to a wonderful shine. A black and silver beauty of a bike, it was full of intricate custom work and obviously well taken care of. Tambertail knew that the techs all enjoyed looking after it, since Signas knew his bike inside out, and gave compliments when it was well cared for. There was a reason Signas was a fairly popular commander, and it wasn't his good looks.

Tambertail sniffed the bike over thoroughly, enjoying all the scents of a freshly polished bike. She wasn't quite as familiar with how the bike worked as Signas, but she knew hoverbikes fairly well, and everything looked as good as it smelled. Everything-

Tambertail suddenly reared back as she picked up a scent that was foreign yet _familiar._ Programming and training that had been ingrained so firmly it was nearly instinct took over, and she threw back her head, letting out a modulated howl. It cut through the music and sounds of the Pit like a blowtorch through butter, and everyone turned to stare at her. Except one of the Reploids from the 15th. A former police officer, he recognized that particular howl and what it signified. One quick sprint later, his hand slammed down on a panic button. Sirens immediately began to blare, and Tambertail snarled in satisfaction as the surprised techs began to evacuate. Instead of joining them, she loped over to the two members of the 15th.

They might need her expertise, no matter how dangerous it would be.

* * *

"Zero, what's going on?" A breathless X asked Zero. Hearing the alarms had convinced Alia to let him up. X had tried and failed to make sense of the communicator chatter… it seemed like no one knew exactly what was going on, except that it was happening in the Pit.

Suddenly, X's question became academic as Signas made a general broadcast, overriding all other channels.

_All Hunters except tactical positions, evacuate the building. A bomb has been detected in the Pit. The 14th bomb disposal unit is taking care of the problem._ Zero and X exchanged a wide-eyed look.

"A BOMB? Who could have planted that in HQ? …And why the Pit?" Blowing up the Pit would certainly hurt the Hunters, but it wasn't anywhere near the heart of HQ. Unless it was something truly stupendous, like a backpack nuke, it wasn't going to do critical damage.

"Unless it's not the only bomb," Zero said, and X winced. "C'mon X, let's get out of here. We're only in the way." Neither one of them knew anything about bomb disposal. This was a job for the professionals. X hesitated, looking back towards his rooms. "Don't tell me you're thinking of going back for that stupid game!" X flushed, and gave him a glare.

"I was thinking about Alia! She went back to Navigations." Although now that Zero mentioned it, he hoped his game wouldn't get blown up either. It was an antique and would be really hard to replace.

"Oh. Okay then." That response pleased Zero… at least X still had his priorities in order. Well, sort of. Once they were outside, at the pre-determined spot, Zero looked back at the HQ, waiting. There wasn't much else he and X could do.

"Hey, look… there's Tambertail!" X suddenly exclaimed, and Zero turned his head, spotting the vibrant blue dress shirt and lean, athletic figure of Signas' secretary. He waved to her, and she spotted them, trotting over. Zero tilted his head as he saw her expression… she was looking quite satisfied about something.

"Hey, Tambertail, do you know what's going on?" He asked, and she grinned, showing her canine teeth.

"You bet. I'm the one who spotted the bomb. Skipper owes me, big time." That surprised X, but not Zero. After his week with her at the resort, he knew about her history as a former scent tracker. Such trackers were trained to detect bombs. "So far, it's the only one they've found, and it would have blown him to kingdom come. It was on his hoverbike." That surprised both of them.

"No way! How could a Maverick have gotten into HQ?" There were plenty of security checks to prevent Maverick infiltrators. Tambertail's expression suddenly turned sour, as if she had sucked on a lemon. She turned a baleful gaze on the HQ, and Zero lifted an eyebrow. "Tambertail?" He rested a hand on the back of her neck, and began giving her a neck massage. Tambertail melted into that attention, her eyes half-closing in pleasure.

"Mrr… just thinking." Zero nibbled her earlobe, wordlessly asking her to continue. "Could've been a human. Be easier for one of them to get in."

"A human, helping the Mavericks?" X said, shocked by the very notion. "Why would anyone do such a thing?"

"Money, X." Zero could answer that one. "And Signas isn't, you know, US. But if it was a human, that might be a good thing. At least then, that'll be the only bomb." There was no way any sane human would blow up Hunter HQ entirely.

"Well that… stinks!" X fumed, and Tambertail cast a glance over at him. X was assuming this was the result of a Maverick plot, and Zero seemed to be as well. Which it could very well be… all the Hunters agreed that Signas was the best commander they had ever been given. But a few nastier suspicions had occurred to Tambertail… there was no point in discussing them with X and Zero, though. She'd have a talk with Signas later.

"What really stinks is how they kicked me out," Tambertail's lip curled. "When the real police trackers showed up. Pah." She knew it was justified… she was a civilian now… but it still pissed her off. She'd been transferred to secretarial jobs because of her attitude. Her competence at tracking had never been in question.

Several more hours passed, as they all chatted quietly. Some people left to go get food and drinks… and news crews showed up. Tambertail's part in the events quickly became known, and she was forced to snarl at a few reporters. Zero's threatening presence helped out with that. Then they all started as a violent detonation came… but from the practice ground. The bomb squad had taken the bike out there, away from all the sensitive equipment in the Pit, and because there was plenty of space there for a controlled detonation. Tambertail winced.

"God's own hell, I hope they saved the bike. Pity the Skipper if they didn't!" All the Hunters close enough to hear nodded solemnly. They all knew how much Signas loved his hoverbike. Alia's voice came over the communicators.

_Everything is under control. All units can return to HQ._ There was a vast feeling of relief, as all the Hunters returned to their posts and duties.

Although they were all left wondering who had done this, and how their defenses had been penetrated. There were many questions that would have to be answered…


End file.
